Updates

As I have caught up on reading all the blogs I love and have neglected, I realized it says it's been 4 months since I posted anything. It's been a pretty busy and crazy time for us. I decided I would take each person individually and post a little about their last four months and what we've got going on with them.
I'll start with myself since I'm boring.
My life is simple:
First, my dad died March 10. It was so sudden. Unexpected. Temporarily final. My entire family was there in his hospital room when he left this life. It was beautiful and spiritual. I have learned a lot. I have learned that no one knows what to say and I have to be flexible and not take offense. I was so tired of the words, "How are you ?" at the viewing and the funeral. It has a different tone now, as I cope with the monotony of every day life without him. There was a very large hole in my life and that of my children. He was such a great big presence in our lives. Our constant support and champion. I haven't ever gone this long without speaking to him. Each day becomes easier and harder at the same time. Tonight is my son's baptism and I'm dreading it and anticipating it at the same time. Joy and pain in the same moment. Pretty much my life at the moment.

I am continuing to work at Creekside Home Health. My job has changed a lot, as Medicare rules and regs regarding home care have made some pretty huge changes. I personally, appreciate that our president has acknowledged that health care is broken and system has been abused by all and needs to be changed. I respect that he didn't just look the other way. Regardless of whether I agree with the changes or not, I think it needed to be changed and needed to be done. I've taken huge flack for that, both within my family and without. I don't know all the particulars, honestly. I don't think we'll understand all the particulars for awhile. So, my life has been a lot of defensiveness over my opinions and preferences. Even before speaking with me or asking my opinion, people assume they know my opinion and attack what they assume I think and refuse to back up and rethink. I am learning to keep my mouth shut. I know that no one knew that was possible for me. It is. Truly.

Otherwise, I run and shuttle and cook and clean. I am focusing on getting my family through college and grief. Some days I float right through and other days I swim with the fishes. It's been a pretty drastic roller coaster. I should design those. I know how to make your stomach pitch. We frantically keep up with the basics and no more. I'm so grateful that those are the most important things because that's what I am getting done right now. You really rethink what's important in this times. We are so busy and so behind. I'm grateful for that perspective. My motto this year needs to be that God is in control. When you think you have control, God shows you it isn't true. He knows all things and His plan rules. Letting go of pre-conceived ideas about your life and letting Him take over is my challenge. Big challenge.

Next challenge, getting all my kids lives on this blog.